Abandoned Wealth
by YaoiPhox
Summary: A bloody baby is found on a Jashinist's gravestone holding an odd inscription upon it. Banker Kakuzu finds his wealth isn't in money but in an abandoned boy. Yaoi Oneshot. KakuHida.


38. Abandoned - A theme from dA's 100 Themes Challenge. This is made for a KakuHida fan group. Each 'entrant' is allowed to claim 3 themes max to illustrate/do.

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><p>"What are you doing here alone, child?" A tall man asked an infant squirming in front of a headstone.<p>

The dark-haired male sighed then bent down, scooping the child up. He wiped some dirt and blood from its face then looked around. Upon ensuring himself there was no one around, he looked at the gravestone's writings. He memorized the stone then left the Jashinist Graveyard with the bloody child secure in his arms.

_~Seventeen Years Later~_

"Hidan! Get back down here, now!" Konan shouted at the bottom of the Akatsuki Orphanage steps. "You come down here and apologize to Itachi now!"

"I don't want to you bitch!" The pale boy shouted from the top of the steps. "I was just telling the emo bitch the truth, right Deidara?"

"Don't even think of involving me again, hm." The blond scoffed.

"Hidan, come on down, you're almost eighteen. Soon you'll have to live on your own!" Konan snapped. "That means you'll have to get along with others!"

"I don't have to worry about that for another three months!" Hidan returned.

"I don't care. I will call Pain!" Hidan groaned then slid down the rail to land by Konan.

"Fine. I'll apologize to the fucking emo weasel boy." He scowled then stormed into the orphanage's library where a dark-haired boy sat, surrounded by heavy books."Hey Itachi." Hidan sighed.

"What do you want?" Itachi drawled in response.

"To apologize for trying to sacrifice your weasel..." Hidan murmured.

"Apology not accepted so, kindly, go fuck yourself." The Uchiha glared.

"Jackass..." Hidan scoffed, leaving the library. "I apologi—Konan?"

"There's someone here looking to adopt, hm." Deidara explained, painting his nails on the steps.

"Tch. I'll be in my room. Wake me when dinner's ready." Hidan sighed, heading up the stairs, only to be stopped by Zetsu, the orphanage's 'scout'.

"The person wants to adopt an older teenager. Age fifteen to seventeen." He informed them, pulling Hidan to stand at the bottom of the stairs. "Deidara, Itachi, you two are coming as well."

The three teenagers gathered reluctantly, waiting for Konan to arrive with the new man. It did not take too long for her to appear with a tall, muscular man to arrive, professionally dressed. He hid his face behind a bandana and Hidan scoffed, already dashing whatever actual hope he had of leaving this hellhole. It was obvious that he and the 'business man' would clash like cat and dog. He glared as the man inspected each of them. He felt like merchandise and it really ticked him off. When the man stopped in front of him, up went Hidan's middle finger, dark green nail gleaming in the light.

"This one." Was the man's only response.

Hidan was just as surprised as his friends, his jaw dropped with his hand. Konan nodded after awhile, getting over her own shock, and then left for paperwork. Deidara pouted at Hidan while Itachi glared, as usual. The man seemed unconcerned with the trio though, waiting for Konan to return. When she did he calmly signed the papers and handed over some cash. Hidan huffed then stomped upstairs to grab his things. He did not have much and was back down in a heart beat. The man had already gone out to wait in his—

"Is that a limo!" Hidan gaped at the long car.

"Yes, young master. Is there a problem?" The driver inquired, holding his door open.

"No..." He murmured, clambering inside to sit across from his new guardian.

"My name is Kakuzu, owner of all banks in Rain Village." The man explained. "I have no interest in family and I will not treat you as a son. The Akatsuki orphanage understands this since you aren't the first child I have purchased from them."

"I'm not a fucking child." Hidan scowled. "Why the hell did you 'adopt' me then?"

"To me, you are." Kakuzu growled. "As for why I adopted you... I need someone to clean my house and cook my dinner. I don't wish to waste my money on a maid or chef and figured a child would be more easy to trust." He eyed Hidan. "Though I'm not sure I can trust you, I'm giving you a trial run because you're unique."

"Tch. You've dug yourself a grave." Hidan muttered.

"Perhaps I have..." Kakuzu murmured then took a sip of cider.

They arrived at Kakuzu's house which was fairly normal in comparison to his ride. He explained that it was cheaper and the only ones who ever came to his house were nobodies that he had no need to impress. Hidan rolled his eyes at the cheap man and looked around the two bedroom home. The second bedroom had no bed, only a desk—it was an office. Hidan scowled then whipped around to confront Kakuzu.

"Where am I sleeping?" He snapped.

"Attic... or basement. Choice is yours. I will put a cot in whichever level you choose." Kakuzu replied coolly, leading Hidan into the finished basement.

"Is the attic finished?" Hidan inquired curiously.

"Yes. Would you prefer it?" Kakuzu returned, leading him out of the somewhat dark basement.

The attic door was near Kakuzu's bedroom and he opened the door, allowing Hidan to enter first. He went quietly up the stairs, Kakuzu close behind. The attic had enough room for Hidan to stand at full height but Kakuzu had to keep his head low. There were three windows and what looked like a mini closet. There were a few poles reaching from the ceiling to the floor and the teen circled each. He smiled then nodded in Kakuzu's direction. He would take the attic. After exploring a bit longer, Kakuzu took Hidan to the kitchen, handing him a spiral notebook of instructions. He frowned but accepted the notebook, skimming through the rules and guidelines. He had been and heard of worse homes.

"One more thing, I do have two... friends that may stop by unexpectedly. You will not tell them anything. Don't speak to them unless spoken to and don't be caught in a locked room alone with one of them." Kakuzu informed him. "Now, go and make dinner."

Dinner for the duo had been fairly awkward but not intolerable. It was better than eating the gruel served back at Akatsuki. Kakuzu retired to his office and left Hidan to clean up and go to bed where a cot was waiting. Hidan sighed, picking up a ragged blanket folded at the end and a flat pillow at the head. He kicked of his shoes and clothes—save his briefs—then plopped down on the cot. He looked at his bible and rosary lying nearby and sighed sadly before Kakuzu had shut off the lights.

–

A month had gone by and the pair got along decently. Kakuzu was rarely home due to work and Hidan was constantly doing the home work. He made himself the same stew and sandwich for every lunch since he had come to the house and the same dinner and breakfast. Kakuzu, Hidan came to realize, was obsessively compulsive and liked when everything was the same on a daily basis. Hidan had no problem with that so long as he was fed and under a roof. He was lucky to have already graduated his homeschooling in January since he had full days to fulfill all the chores Kakuzu assigned him.

One day, Hidan was startled by a knock on the door. It was not one of the every day occurrences so Hidan turned to his handbook. It told him to let only two people in whether Kakuzu was in or not. He went to the door and found it to be one of the men. He opened the door and let him in. The man was as tall as Kakuzu only his skin and hair looked blue. He grinned down at Hidan, revealing his sharp teeth then went to the couch in the living room. Hidan blinked and let him be, going to the kitchen to continue preparing dinner for when Kakuzu returned home.

"So what's your name, boy?" The man asked over the roar of a football game.

"Hidan." He replied simply, pulling out ingredients.

"How long have you been here?"

"A month." Hidan kept his responses short.

"That's a new record." He laughed.

"What do you mean?" Hidan inquired, setting down the knife.

"Nothing. Usually whenever Kakuzu brings one home, they only last a day or two, if that."

"Brings one what home?" Hidan frowned as the door opened.

"None of your business, get back to work." Kakuzu said gruffly, loosening his tie and taking off his coat.

"Hey now, Kakuzu, don't be so mean to the poor guy." The newcomer chuckled.

"Shut up, Kisame and mind your own business." Kakuzu snapped. "What do you want from me now?"

"Just wanted to hang out, man."

Hidan sighed and tuned out their conversation. He had a meal to prepare, after all. After dinner, Kakuzu had left the house, taking Kisame home. Hidan was alone once more and his hands were shaking. He glanced at his rosary and swallowed hard. It had been awhile since he had prayed. He finished cleaning up then ran to the bathroom, searching for anything that could draw blood. His eyes settled on some kind of scissors and he pulled up one of his pants legs. Then he paused, considering how much walking around he would need to do, and then turned attention to his side.

His cry of pain drowned out the sound of a car pulling up and a door opening. He ripped the medical scissors out of his side and looked around for a rag as his shirt turned red. Upon not finding one he went to the kitchen, collapsing at Kakuzu's feet. The elder looked down in indifferent curiosity and picked him up. Once the boy was patched up and in Kakuzu's own bed, he called the orphanage.

"Yes, I'm calling about Hidan, Pain." Kakuzu grumbled, sitting at the foot of his bed. "You didn't mention he was suicidal." There was a pause. "A cult? That's even worse. I'll bring him back tomorrow."

After Kakuzu hung up, Hidan screwed his eyes shut tighter. He was startled when he felt someone lie beside him and tensed a little. Then an arm came around his midsection and his eyes shot open. He did not turn around until he felt safe. Sure enough, there was Kakuzu, his scarred face exposed. Hidan blinked, freeing a hand to touch a stitch then quickly pulled it away as the man stirred. Out of fear he stayed in place until sleep overcame him. Sometime in the night, he curled closer to him.

The next morning Hidan was sitting in the limo, a blank expression on his face as the orphanage came into view. He did not even look at Kakuzu for the man was at work. There was no one but himself yet again. He opened his door before the driver had a chance to get out and then ran inside, past Itachi, and straight to his room. Downstairs, Itachi sighed sadly, petting a ball of fur in his arms. He looked outside and watched the limo drive away then looked back upstairs. His friend would be unapproachable for quite a few days.

_~Two Month Later~_

"Did you find a job yet, Hidan?" Itachi drawled from the library.

"No. Deidara's coming back from juevy today, right?" He returned, picking up any stray books and placing them on their shelves.

"Yes, supposedly." Itachi replied, closing the book.

"Still can't believe he blew up a tree in the park." Hidan laughed, waiting for his friend to transfer his weasel from his lap to his shoulders. "But those kids deserved it. Lucky I wasn't there too."

"Hn."

The pair gathered at the front door when they heard a car pull up. They both turned away though when they saw it was not Deidara's transportation. However the car looked familiar to Hidan. He shook off his thoughts though and started to head up the stairs. Once he reached the top, Konan had let a man in. Itachi's jaw dropped and Hidan felt his heart leap in recognition. Konan called both of them back down and they went as though in a daze. The man grinned, showing his sharp teeth as he quickly recognized Hidan.

"Well, well if it isn't Kakuzu's maid boy." He laughed. "Good to see you haven't been adopted out."

"I'm too old to be adopted. I turned eighteen last week, Kisame." Hidan returned with a scowl.

"Ah. That's even better. You should come with me and that kid then. My friend was interested in adopting an older teen and I've been seeing Itachi periodically." He explained. "I think they'd make a nice pair."

"I'm going to live with Sasori, right?" Itachi inquired, letting his weasel clamber off his shoulder and into his arms.

"Yep. Sasori's his name. Then when that blond friend of yours gets out, I'll go ahead and adopt him. Keep him outta the slammer." He grinned, petting the weasel with his large, rough blue hand. "As for you, Hidan, Konan tells me you're looking for a job. Kakuzu's got a position. He's really missed you, ya know."

"Bullshit. That fucking shithead abandoned me." Hidan snarled.

"Well, your room's still open, waiting for you to return. He's even willing to pay you and you know how cheap he is." Kisame smiled pleasantly.

"I wanted to wait for Dei." Hidan murmured.

"Alright. You have time. After all, I need to pick him up too and Itachi needs to pack."

By the time Itachi and Hidan had finished packing all but the weasel, Deidara had been dropped off. He had nothing to pack but his clay which Kisame already had in hand so the trio left for the man's car in no time. Hidan pouted a little, staring out the back seat window with Deidara leaning on him while Itachi played with his weasel in the front seat. They stopped at Kakuzu's house and Hidan's pout turned to a scowl when he saw the limo parked out front. The group left the car, taking their luggage with them, much to their confusion.

"Put Itachi's stuff in the basement. Deidara... we're still working out living arrangements until Sasori gets here." Kakuzu's only servant—the driver—directed them. "As for you, Hidan, your bedroom is still yours though you might have to share it."

"Tch. Like I give a fuck. Where's Kakuzu?"

"Office."

Hidan nodded, pushing past him to get to the room. He jiggled the locked doorknob then sighed, pulling a key off the top of the door. He picked the lock then slid inside. It was one room he was rarely allowed in alone. He saw photos of himself in there though, much to his surprise. Kakuzu was busy at his computer but his shoulders where tense. Hidan approached slowly, arms crossed.

"So fucker, you're looking to hire? What's the fucking position?" Hidan drawled.

"Good to see you're home, Hidan." Kakuzu sighed, not turning around.

"Fuck you. I can't believe you abandoned me because of my religion." Hidan scowled.

"I took you back to the orphanage because Madara requested it, Hidan." Kakuzu growled slightly. "You're just a kid and don't know shit. He explained how you were found and where and then how you had been tossed around to so many places before I agreed to take you in. Though Madara was also worried about you getting attached again. Apparently, judging from how you're acting now, it was too late for that." He sighed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hidan looked down. "If he was worried about that and you didn't actually want me... Why didn't you want to get rid of me sooner?"

"You were a good housemaid." Kakuzu smirked then became a tad serious, "Of course, I also wasn't done figuring you out. You were putting on a boring good boy act." He rolled his eyed. "Madara wanted me to adopt you in the first place to try to fix that but it wasn't working. Ever since that one house you had..."

"He told you about that... huh?" Hidan blushed slightly, looking away. "That's the past."

"Hidan, I haven't always been a big time bank owner. I was also a psychiatrist when I met Madara. You have abandonment issues, that is my diagnosis. But I don't care about that anymore because my studies stopped when Madara took you from me."

"You sound as though you own me." Hidan scoffed.

"I'd like to." Kakuzu's smirk sent pleasant shivers down Hidan's spine.

"W-Whatever old man. How much will you pay me for..."

"Maid and cooking services." Kakuzu grinned. "This time with an apron."

"I fucking hate you." Hidan blushed.

"I'll pay you whatever you want." He said, getting to his feet. "My friends got evicted from their apartment so I agreed to take them in. They're paying rent. I can give all their rent money to you."

"Fine, it's a deal."

Hidan trudged up his old stairs to find an apron folded already at the foot of his cot. He scowled, realizing Kakuzu had predicted an easy agreement. Downstairs, Kakuzu went to find Kisame helping Itachi unpack and set up a space for the pet weasel. Kisame's pet mini shark was already in the corner of the basement, swimming carefree. Both of them had met at the pet store after Hidan had been returned to the orphanage and made fast friends. Itachi explained to Kisame about how his friend had abandonment issues and Kisame, upon discovering his friend was Hidan, informed Kakuzu.

_~Flashback~_

"_Hey Kakuzu, you know your boy toy?" Kisame winked at the older male, winking at him._

"_He isn't my boy toy." Kakuzu growled._

"_Whatever. You've been so touchy after he left and there's all the photos..." Kisame trailed, picking up a framed photograph of Hidan sleeping on his cot._

"_Put that down, damnit!" Kakuzu flushed, swiping the photo back._

"_Anyways, I ran into a friend of his at the pet store, shopping for my Samehada-kun." He smirked. "Told me Hidan rarely leaves his room. Kinda like you."_

"_Fuck you." Kakuzu snapped moodily. "It's not like I'll never see him again. As soon as he's eighteen..." He trailed, glancing at his shrine._

"_Dude... don't tell me..."_

"_Shut up, he'll make a perfect match." He huffed. "It's not like he's not easy to manipulate. I will make him mine one step at a time."_

"_Good luck with that. Itachi says Hidan's pretty strong spirited when he wants to be."_

_~End Flashback~_

"Kisame, I have to go back to work, you're in charge until Sasori gets home." Kakuzu informed him.

"What are we having for dinner?" Itachi inquired.

"Ask Hidan." Kakuzu replied, heading back upstairs.

"Hidan can't cook." Itachi frowned and gave a shudder from the last and only time he had the zealot's cooking.

"Kakuzu's recipes are simple enough. He's got OCD. Has a very routine schedule and menu. Hidan's a pro at cooking those meals after a month of practice."

"Hn." He replied, setting his pet in its cage next to Samehada. "Could you give us a tour of the house, Kisame?"

Reactions to Hidan's new addition to his attire varied when he came down from his room to prepare dinner. The apron matched his eyes which meant Deidara got a kick out of it, laughing as soon as he spotted his friend. Itachi hid a snicker behind his hand while standing safely behind Kisame. Kisame smirked at Hidan but he was prepared for the sight. After giving the teenagers a tour, Kisame ran to answer the door for a redhead. Sasori was home and casually greeted Deidara as a familiar. They had met at an online art site before Deidara got locked up—again. He, unlike Kisame, was very surprised to see Hidan even if he had only heard snippets about him from Deidara.

He stopped in the kitchen, staring for a moment or two, and then he went to the living room with the others. After dinner, Kakuzu was still unaccounted for but Kisame and Sasori acted unsurprised, getting the teens ready for bed while Hidan tidied up the house. Deidara was shocked by this since he had not been at the orphanage when he returned like Itachi had. Cleaning had become a second nature for Hidan after living with Kakuzu. Hidan offered his cot to Deidara, preferring to take to the floor while Sasori took the couch. Kisame and Itachi had their own beds in the basement.

By the time Hidan had finished every chore it was midnight. Kakuzu was still a no-show. He looked for the emergency contact numbers but did not call. Kakuzu was old enough to care for himself after all. He returned to his room, hanging up the apron and smiled at Deidara, sleeping soundly under the covers. He took a seat by the window, looking out in front of the house for any sign of the limo. An alarm clock sat on a shelf nearby and he looked over to find two hours had passed. He let his fingers drum on the windowsill, magenta eyes darting along the road out front for any sign of the man of the house. He then began to drift off, returning to a time he could and should never remember...

_~Flashback~_

"_Wait here for me, Zetsu. I'm sure there's nothing here. Who would be so thoughtless as to leave an infant in a graveyard?" A tall dark-haired male scoffed, stepping out of a nice black car._

_ Zetsu nodded and watched his 'master' disappear into the graveyard. He turned of the car completely to reserve battery power and gas and leaned back in his seat. The car windows were quite dark so it was difficult for anyone to see inside, even if the sun was up. However Zetsu could easily make out two cloaked figures leaving the graveyard, stopping near the driver window. He made no movement, keeping his ears open to catch their conversation._

"_Why do we have to leave the young master here, Atari, of all places?" The smaller whimpered._

"_You know why, Suki. We can't care for him like his mother requested. He expects that." The taller murmured, pulling his companion into a hug._

"_I was looking forward to raising a son..." Suki murmured, "But I suppose it would be too dangerous."_

"_I called the orphanage and they are most likely here already. They'll keep him safe, Suki-chan."_

"_I really hope so..."_

"_We'll still watch over him from a distance." Atari murmured. "We cannot let his father find him. Jashin-sama relies on his son."_

"_Yes. Hidan is our last hope to restore the faith of our lord Jashin."_

_ The duo left at the snap of a twig, cloaks billowing behind them. Zetsu sat up, eyes wide in wonder. He jumped when there was a tapping on the passenger window and he rolled it down. He was soon handed a light haired infant, eyes still blue and covered in blood from his mother's womb. Zetsu waited for his 'master' to enter the car and handed back the child. He started up the car and the other man spoke._

"_The grave on which he was abandoned... seems freshly dug, Zetsu."_

"_Yes, I believe it was the boy's mother. **Two males passed by and spoke of him. **Called him Hidan and said his life was in danger..." Zetsu murmured, stroking the child's cheek before replacing his hands on the wheel._

_~End Flashback~_

"Hidan! Hidan, wake up." A deep voice roused Hidan from his dream. "What were you dreaming about?"

"W-What time is it?" He grumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"It's six. I just came home. There was a robbery so I had to stay late." Kakuzu murmured softly.

"Oh..." He yawned. "How much?"

"Quite a bit... but that's not important. You look exhausted." Kakuzu yawned as well, helping Hidan to his feet. "Come to bed."

Hidan was too tired to protest and followed him down the stairs. He kept thinking over that dream even as Kakuzu undressed him and then took his own clothes to the bathroom to change. He could not put a name to the other man's face but he knew Zetsu would have answers—assuming that dream was what he thought it was. He yawned again, crawling into Kakuzu's bed and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Kakuzu joined him in bed soon after, smiling to himself as Hidan curled closer in his arms once again.

Hidan woke up at noon, squirming in an attempt to escape Kakuzu's hold. He blushed when he came face to face with the man again and then frowned as he recalled that was how his last day with Kakuzu as his guardian ended. He managed to escape the miser's hold and rolled out of the bed, holding in an exclamation of surprise when he saw his state of undress. He quickly gathered his pants and shirt then headed down to the kitchen. Kisame and Itachi were wide awake, already making sandwiches. Sasori had apparently take Deidara to some art show earlier in the morning.

"Hey Kisame, can you give me a ride to the orphanage? I need to ask Zetsu some things."

"Uh... yeah, sure." Kisame nodded, getting up. I'll take that sandwich to go, Itachi."

Kakuzu woke up about an hour after Hidan, frowning when he found the boy gone. He yawned and stretched, sitting up. He then realized that Hidan had seen his face and he began to fret, quickly changing into his casual wear, bandana tied messily back around his face. He headed for the kitchen and found Sasori waiting for him, glasses set low on his nose. Kakuzu sighed and went to his office, closely followed by Sasori.

"So, Kakuzu," the redhead smirked knowingly, "you're worried that your pretty boy has left because of your appearance?"

"That and I was worried when I realized I had an appointment with you today." Kakuzu grumbled.

"I'm just trying to help you with your OCD and stress." Sasori droned. "Kisame told me you like Hidan."

"So what?" Kakuzu flushed, "He's too young for me though."

"Regardless, you don't feel stressed with him under your roof." Sasori noted.

"He's not that bad. So long as one doesn't strike a nerve for him." Kakuzu replied.

"Madara thinks you two would be a good match. I said it was probably the worst decision." Sasori sighed. "I now see that Madara knows all." He took off his glasses. "Hidan will be back, he's just gone to inquire Zetsu about his past."

"I see..." Kakuzu sighed in relief then sat up, "Do you think Madara will take him to his mother's grave?"

"Naturally." Sasori shrugged. "Of course, I spoke to Zetsu myself, at your request, and found out what Madara didn't want to tell you."

"What is it?"

"The men who abandoned Hidan in the graveyard were his protectors. They guard the owners of all the Jashinist fundings which basically translates..."

"Hidan's rich?"

"Filthy. Jashinists were notorious thieves in history. Only one chosen member of the family may know where to find these funds." Sasori pulled out a file. "Unfortunately, this happened..."

Kakuzu quirked a brow and pulled out the papers within the folder. Two blonde males were mutilated, hand in hand, a Jashinist symbol in their blood drawn on the ground. Suicide was the final ruling but the file Sasori gave him ruled that out. After all, Zetsu had met the couple in person to discuss Hidan. He said they would die for Hidan, their god child, but suicide was one thing Jashin did not allow for the guardians as they had a duty to the main family.

"Who...?"

"Zetsu thinks his father did the deed. He only married into the religion after hearing the rumored wealth." Sasori explained.

"Call Zetsu and Madara. Tell them I'm staying with Hidan. I still have my old pistol from the war."

"I doubt you'll have to worry much, Kakuzu. Madara's tracked the man down." Sasori began but Kakuzu had already left. "Oh well. This story's gotta end sometime."

Hidan and Madara arrived at the Jashinist Graveyard, Zetsu waiting behind in the car. Madara led Hidan through the yard until he reached the familiar headstone. The writing was crudely carved, Hidan's mother's name scratched through. There was a riddle of sorts carved within the stone though and Hidan crouched beside it to see it better. He tilted his head, rubbing a hand over a bloodstain and then the words. Madara stood by quietly and Hidan sighed, stepping back. He pulled out his camera phone and snapped a shot of the writing. He looked back for Madara but in his place was Kakuzu.

"What are you doing here?" Hidan inquired.

"I came here to take you home. But first..." Kakuzu blushed, recalling a conversation he had with Kisame. "I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me today for lunch."

"Fine." Hidan shrugged, looking at the grave on last time.

"'Treasure, Hidan, lies in the heart below the head of wealth.'" Kakuzu murmured, reading the carving. "Interesting subtitle for a gravestone." He smiled at Hidan, face unveiled for a change. "That sounds familiar though. Who's grave is it?"

"My mother's."

"I know. But her name?" Kakuzu crouched, examining the scratched stone.

"It's hard to make out..." He murmured.

"Atari and Suki... those were your guardian's names, right?" Kakuzu straightened up abruptly.

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Just wondering. Unfortunately my memory's fading in my old age." He sighed, offering his arm. "Come, what do you like to eat?"

"Ribs. How old are you?" He inquired, "Thirty?"

"Fifty." He corrected hesitantly. "I was thirty and already in charge of the bank when you were born."

"So you're old enough to be my father." Hidan mused, taking his arm in his own arms. "But you're not interested in that kind of relationship with me, huh?"

"Sharp. Now let's go, I have a reservation for us."

"... I hate you."

They arrived at the restaurant which was surprisingly fancy for Kakuzu as he did not like spending big money. He sat with Hidan in a secluded room-like area and handed him a menu. Once they had ordered their ribs and liver, Hidan started to play with his silverware. Kakuzu watched him, letting out a small laugh. Once he heard it, Hidan set the silverware down, blushing.

"So why exactly are you taking me on a fucking date?"

"Thought you could use something to cheer you up. That and I've felt sexually attracted to you since you came back to me." He smirked. "Your master."

"Hah. You're a sick prick." Hidan grinned, "I don't blame you though."

"Someone's a little egotistical, huh?" Kakuzu chortled, grabbing some of the bread.

"And you're a tad greedy." Hidan huffed, waving some bread at him.

"Not really. I don't care that your family is probably richer than I am." He smiled, wiping Hidan's smile away.

"So you just want my money which—may I tell you—is lost?" Hidan scowled.

"No, I have no interest in it as I am a man of my word, my little house wife." Kakuzu shrugged, sipping some wine. "Shame you're old enough to marry but you still can't drink."

"I-I'm not your wife!" Hidan flushed.

"Not now but perhaps in time." He smirked, sitting back as the food came.

"Heh. You keep dreaming, old miser."

~Five Years Later~

"Nng, honey... could you turn down the damn heat?" Hidan groaned, easily rolling out of his husband's arms. "K-Kakuzu?"

Hidan always had trouble getting out of Kakuzu's arms and sat up quickly, moving hair from his face. His face was contorted in pain, covered with sweat. He frowned, shaking Kakuzu a bit, trying to snap him out of it. His skin was burning and Hidan jumped out of bed, throwing on his boxers. He ran upstairs to the attic where Deidara and Sasori were sleeping soundly. He ripped the covers off them, ignoring the sight he saw and shouted for them to wake up before running down to the basement. Itachi was already up, reading, when Hidan barged in.

"Something's wrong with Kakuzu!"

Itachi jumped up, rousing Kisame from his sleep. He repeated Hidan's news and Kisame rolled out of bed, throwing own his own boxers. Hidan was already in the kitchen dialing an ambulance. Sasori was in the room, examining Kakuzu while Deidara paced restlessly.

Hidan accompanied Kakuzu to the hospital. He was in need of surgery—surgery they could not afford. Hidan waited impatiently for the chance to speak with Kakuzu. The old man was awake but speaking along with the doctor. Hidan jumped when his turn came. He sat in the chair, taking Kakuzu's hand, head low.

"Hidan, don't be sad. I just need some surgery." He coughed, wincing.

"It's open heart surgery, Kakuzu!" Hidan's voice cracked and his tears were let loose. "We can't afford that anymore..."

"Hidan. Go to my office. I can last for a little while longer. I've lasted fifty five years, I can go longer."

"What's at your office?"

"It's a note... in the top drawer of my desk." He coughed. "I love you and you have no idea how happy it made me when you accepted my proposal." He laughed weakly. "Even though you denied the first three."

"I love you too." He whispered, kissing him before heading for the door. "Don't you die on me, old man, you promised we'd adopt."

"Of course."

Hidan hurried out to the car, turning to Sasori and ordering him to drive him home. Sasori swallowed his questions and started the car. Once they reached the house, Hidan jumped out, telling him to keep it running then ran inside to his husband's office. He pulled the drawer out of the desk and saw a note with his name on it. He flipped it over and felt his heart stop. He crumbled the note in his fist and then put it in his pocket, running back out to the car. He ordered Sasori where to go and he went, keeping his questions in again.

They arrived at the main bank Kakuzu ran—the only one he refused to retire from. He went inside, going to the desk. He read off a vault number that was the center of the bank—nicknamed by employees as the Heart. He was led to the Heart and pulled the paper out again, staring at the keypad. He typed in his mother's name and made it past the first lock. Then he went to the last one.

"Kakuzu, there isn't a password for this one..." He frowned, looking at the paper again. "Shit..."

He pulled out his phone, looking at the riddle he had been given. He stared for awhile then typed in his own name. The vault swung open revealing piles of treasure from old times. Hidan's eyes widened and he stepped inside, towards the gold coins and then to the money rolls stored. A sign read 'cashed treasure' and Hidan pocketed it after ensuring it was real. Over 400,000 dollars was in that pile. Once he took it, he ran out, listening to the vault close behind him. He jumped into the passenger seat and shouted for him to drive.

"You didn't rob it did you?" He inquired, taking off.

"Of course not." Hidan scowled. "But that fucking prick is lucky that I love him."

"Why?"

"He had my family treasure the whole fucking time!"

"You found the treasure?" Sasori gaped.

"Yes, now hurry up and take me to the hospital." Hidan replied, pulling a briefcase up from the back seat. "I gotta put this money in something before I lose it..."

~After the Surgery~

"Kakuzu." Hidan scowled, sitting at Kakuzu's bedside.  
>"Save it, Hidan. I'm sorry." Kakuzu wheezed, sitting up.<p>

"You weren't after my money because you already had it, huh?" Hidan pouted.

"I still didn't have the last password though I can guess at it. Twenty three years ago three Jashinists came to my bank, my head bank or the 'head of wealth'. One was your mother, already carrying you inside her. I led them to my biggest and best vault which was below the bank near the center."

"So did you write the riddle or was that-"

"No. I knew nothing more than the fact they needed a place to store their wealth." He smiled. "But your mother, she was something. She told me her child's safety came before the treasure. You were her treasure. The wealth of the Jashinists."

"And you agree with that?" Hidan smirked.

"Naturally." He replied. "So, any new abandoned orphans catch your eye?"

* * *

><p>Sucks. Ending SUCKS! -cries- DAMN YOU ONESHOTS! Why must you be so difficult? -pouts-<p>

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this. I kinda liked it though I wish I had cut it shorter... Kakuzu and Hidan's relationship probably seems odd in this but meh. I can see it happening... even if I couldn't clearly explain it. Time skips saved explanations.

(Towards the end, after Kakuzu and Hidan got married, Kakuzu gave up a lot of his money and retired from running all bank but the one mentioned. It was his first bank... So yeah. He 'abandoned' his 'wealth'. Hidan was the 'abandoned wealth' for the whole story though.)

OH YEAH! DID I MENTION THAT MY** BACKSPACE KEY IS MISSING** AND IT IS A PAIN IN THE ASS TO TYPE NOW BECAUSE THAT KEY WAS MY BFF? I CAN'T GET IT BACK ON AND IT HURTS TO TYPE NOW BECAUSE IN ORDER TO BACKSPACE, I HAVE TO PRESS THIS WEIRD, TINY THING AND IT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME SHARP METAL.


End file.
